Gentle talk about the hard issue
SOCIETY 21 May 2022 - 12:07
Sadyar Aliyev Caliber.Az |
I make an appointment with my interlocutor in the very centre of Baku, in one of the cosy cafés. The place was not chosen by chance, a person should be relaxed enough to speak on such a sensitive topic. And the topic of our conversation will be the situation of the LGBT community in Baku and in Azerbaijan as a whole. My counterpart is a lesbian, born and raised in Baku, and kindly agreed to talk to me about LGBT related issues. She said earlier that her name is Julia but didn’t give her last name on the phone, just said that it starts with the letter S.
She even arrives a little earlier than me. A pretty woman of about 40, a little tense, but after a few minutes I establish contact and proceed directly to the questions:
- Were you born in Baku?
- Yes, I grew up here too.
- When did you feel that you were not like other girls?
- At school, In 7th or 8th grade. Other girls were discussing boys, but I was not interested.
- Was there any pressure from classmates?
- No, they just thought I was a bit strange (smiles timidly).
- And what happened after school, were you able to show your sexuality to the fullest?
- Oh sure. It is easier for girls in Baku to do this. After all, even just girlfriends or sisters can walk arm in arm in our city - it’s not the West here, where this betrays a woman with a non-traditional orientation in you
- Are you married?
- No, although there is a loved one, my girlfriend, with whom we live together. I already have an adult son. He understands everything and does not accept me as I am.
- Did he ask you uncomfortable questions as a child?
- Of course, I explained everything to him, and he accepted it, despite his age. After all, the most important thing in a family is love.
- How long have you been living with your loved one?
- Over 10 years
- Do you think that you will be instead for the rest of your life?
- I do not like to think far ahead, life is full of surprises
- Does the LGBT community have its own websites, meeting places, etc.?
- Of course, because we are people too and sometimes, we want to communicate and relax.
- Why can't you relax in an ordinary bar?
- Sometimes you want to show feelings for your loved one, take the hand, stroke or even kiss lightly.
- And what happens if you do it in a regular bar or café?
- At best, you will catch a hostile look, or you may say unpleasant words. But girls, I repeat, are easier in this sense. In our city, women's tenderness is perceived with less aggression than men's.
- What about men? Where do they relax?
- In the same places, it’s just traditionally harder for them, if you noticed, even in the centre of Baku, gays try to move at maximum speed in order to catch less hostile or mocking looks or words. But even in advanced countries, LGBT people gather in “their” places. Otherwise, you won't be able to feel relaxed.
We slowly drink coffee and talk, my interlocutor seems to have begun to trust me more, and we continue the conversation
- Why do you think society is so aggressive towards gay people?
- Most likely from ignorance of the subject.
- What do you mean (imperceptibly we pass to YOU)
- Scientists in the West have long given the floor to scientists, and society basically knows that being gay is a glitch in the program, a genetic mutation, and people with such a mutation make up less than 5 per cent. You can't become a homosexual; you can only be born a homosexual. Unfortunately, this simple information is not available to most of our population.
- But why then did society become more tolerant of the LGBT community?
- Rather, this is an imitation of the West and not a deep knowledge of the subject
- There is talk that our LGBT community really wants to hold a parade. How do you feel about it?
- To be honest, it’s not very good, I don’t see the point in this, and carnivals are not very popular in our country. And then we are not Brazil, here it is not customary to express feelings at mass processions. Or maybe the age is not the same, although I don’t feel old (smiles).
- I would like to ask you about an unpleasant incident, a tragic story that happened recently with a young gay guy
- Are you talking about this unfortunate journalist? Yes, I know about it. If I am not mistaken, he was brutally killed by his cousin.
- Yes
- This tragedy is terrible. This is an egregious case, which I consider to be out of the ordinary. Thousands of gays live in Azerbaijan, and they are quite alive, neither their family members nor colleagues think of killing them, let alone in such a brutal way. The one who killed this guy was just a maniac who was just waiting for an excuse to realize his bestial instincts.
- They say this murder is connected with the political position of the victim, that it was a punishment for his opposition
- I don't think so, it's just that someone wanted to promote this tragic incident in their favour.
- Why did you agree to meet and talk to me?
- I hope that our conversation will at least a little help our society become more tolerant of people who are different from the majority because they are also people, also citizens. You probably know that some died in the last war defending our land.
I thank Julia for the meeting and ask her to allow me to take a photo. She reluctantly allows a photo, but only after she covers her face with her hand. In the photo, she looked ashamed, but she wasn't. There was nothing to be ashamed for. It was just an understandable issue of privacy.
Saying goodbye almost friends. I understand that it may be necessary to return to this topic more than once because our country, and our society is changing every day and everyone hopes that only for the better
Sadyar Aliyev
Caliber.Az
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