Ten impressive facts about Luxembourg The Grand Duchy through the eyes of an Azerbaijani journalist

Today, I’d like to share 10 facts about Luxembourg that left a particularly strong impression on me.

1. This small yet one of the wealthiest countries in Europe is headed by a member of the Parma branch of the Bourbon dynasty – Henri Albert Gabriel Félix Marie Guillaume of Nassau, modestly and simply known as Grand Duke Henri.

2. Although the country was removed from the offshore zone list back in 2017, that hasn’t stopped more than 200 (!) banks and over 1,000 (!) investment funds from being based in its capital of the same name – more than in any other city in the world! According to businesspeople I know, the conditions for doing business here are even better than in an actual offshore haven.

3. The country’s population is just under 700,000 — and nearly half of them are immigrants. Roughly half of the entire population also lives in the capital city of the same name. That’s why the only traffic jams you’re likely to see in Luxembourg occur at the borders with neighbouring countries between 5:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m., when tens of thousands of commuters from Germany, Belgium, France, and the Netherlands head back home. Arrival times for work vary widely. Supermarkets open as early as 7 a.m., while boutiques, cafés, and restaurants open a bit later.

4. On Saturdays and Sundays, almost all shops, supermarkets, and shopping centres are closed. As a result, people start stocking up on groceries as early as midweek. In the city itself, given the high income levels (the minimum wage is around €4,000), prices may seem rather steep for the average Azerbaijani. However, in large outlet malls located in neighbouring Belgium and Germany, prices are significantly lower than in boutiques in Baku. Just an hour’s drive in any direction, and you’re in a much more comfortable price zone. There are no outlet malls in the Grand Duchy itself.

5. Public transport — specifically the ultra-modern trams and comfortable buses — is completely free not only in the capital, but throughout the entire country. This makes cross-border travel available at prices that would seem ridiculously low even by Azerbaijani standards. For example, a round trip to the Belgian border town of Arlon costs just €6, while a return train journey to the French city of Metz is only €17. A round-trip train ticket to Switzerland will set you back just €47. What’s more, the return leg can be taken at any time on the same day the ticket is issued.

6. Now here’s the most fascinating point for the average Azerbaijani tourist: tickets to any European city reachable from Luxembourg can be purchased with any form of ID that includes your name, surname, and photo. I, for instance, bought my ticket using a simple badge issued to me as a participant in an international sports tournament. When crossing from Luxembourg into any neighbouring country, no one checks you — in fact, you don’t even notice you’ve left this truly GRAND Duchy.

7. In Luxembourg, unlike in the vast majority of other European countries, you’ll often come across not only citizens leading a healthy lifestyle and jogging at any time of the day or night, but also families with two or more children. Yes, there are also noticeable representatives of the LGBT community here, but honestly, there are even fewer of them than in my hometown of Baku.

8. There are many families with young children, which, of course, is pleasing to the eye and lifts the spirits. It turns out that the state itself encourages childbearing by offering a one-time payment of €1,500 for each child born. Additionally, parents receive €300 per month for their first child until they reach adulthood, €400 for the second, and €500 for the third.

9. Luxembourg is a very peace-loving country, despite being a member of NATO. The entire military of the country (including the Honour Guard) is less than 1,000 people and is the smallest in terms of personnel among NATO member states.

10. Alongside the many historical landmarks, the capital also has its “barrel of tar” — a criminal district near the train station, whose residents are sharply different from the law-abiding Luxembourgers. This area, reminiscent of the notorious criminal district from the famous movie District 13, is home to all kinds of criminal elements — from card players and shell game operators to sex workers and drug dealers. Although the police pretend to keep the area under control, the truth is that very few people dare to venture there, apart from the residents themselves, who come from various countries and continents. You can find Marseilles Arabs, Nigerians, Syrians, Ukrainians, and, of course, Russians — or rather, Russian-speaking criminals from all over the former Soviet Union…

By the way, about the "women of the night." I wouldn't be wrong in saying that in Luxembourg, they are the most expensive in Europe. Of course, I’m not referring to those living in the autonomous district of Gare — the area around the train station. I’m talking about those who can be called through an escort service. Prices for their services start at €300 per hour. These services are mainly used by visiting businessmen or tourists, as it’s too risky for the locals. The city is small in every sense of the word, and local men’s movements are easily tracked by their legitimate "better halves." Any infidelity inevitably leads to a costly divorce, something that local businessmen cannot afford.

Vugar Vugarli, Luxembourg, exclusively for Caliber.Az